About Prearranged Marriage
What is a prearranged marriage in my culture? It’s when family or clan leaders, parents and other authoritative authoritative individuals arrange a marriage within our own people. It is understood amongst us that it is Vujo Romaniya (Pure Roma Law) to marry within our own; and it is a matter of respect, honour and internalized duty to see that our bloodlines remain on the Tatcho Drom – True Way. Some reasons for prearranged marriages:
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Eugenics – improving our bloodlines. One of the most important reasons for prearranged marriages. The survival and quality of our bloodline is extremely important to us.
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Settle disputes amongst Clans.
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Traditional matchmaking.
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Forging spiritual alliances – which was the case between my wife and I.
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Strengthen family name and/or honour.
Prearranged marriages are not unique to our families. In fact, there are many families and cultures that find benefits in prearranged marriages. And yet, in most people’s worldview, prearranged marriages create various reactions. Some find it an uncomfortably foreign concept. While others believe we are being elitist, and guard themselves against our “segregationist mentality”.
I think it is important to understand that everyone has different worldviews, and what may be very comfortable for some, it may be taboo for others. I’m proud to belong to clans that are very open-minded. We understand, and teach our children, that even though we may have these traditions, there is still a whole realm of nuptial possibilities out there!
It is true that in this era, unlike past eras, the young people are finding a strong pull to experiment with various conjugal possibilities. There are many members in our clans that find this a little disconcerting, but there are others that see it as another change that life has brought about. While some young people find the need to experiment and find out what else the world has to offer, there are others like myself and my wife who find that our traditions wise, and cling to them.
To me, prearranged marriage sounds like a sterile term for something that revolves around one of the most sacred elements about our people – and that is our sexuality. One’s sexuality, no matter now nescient you may be, is a crucial part of our humanity. In my clans, some of our most crucial laws protect and guide us to achieve the most we can from our sexual experiences. Our sexuality is also an all-important essence in our spirituality. Prearranged marriages are only a small facet of our moral principles and precepts – who says that all Roma are an uncivilised immoral lot? Not I! 
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Tags: ceremony, customs, traditions
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